An extract from The ABC of Healing by Celeste Louw - let's talk attitude and healing.
One of the biggest stumbling blocks to healing is this ideology that we can’t save ourselves and that we need someone to swoop in, fix everything and save us from our situation, our pain, our circumstances, and ourselves.
We need to be able to stand up and take accountability for our healing journey. It is, after all, on us. It may not feel fair. Fair is a fairy tale we tell children. Healing is not about fair. It is about processing, integrating, growing, and discovering the parts of us that make us unique, strong, beautiful. It is about rising from the ashes and that is on us.
In the process of healing, we have this tendency to do some things that are self-sabotaging.
One of these is thinking that a professional can “fix” us. Whether we place this belief in a psychologist, spiritual leader, social worker, family member or friend, this is undeniably self-defeating. When they can’t, we blame them for our failure. However, the only person who can put in the work, find the personal answers, take charge of our healing, is us.
Often you will see survivors organising their lives so that they don’t get triggered, living in protection instead of connection, believing a medication is silver bullet that will heal them, delving so deeply into their spirituality, health, distraction (including substances) or work that they are living unbalanced tight rope like lives that are unfulfilling and simply unsustainable.
When things fall apart, we blame all the outside forces (which do play a part) but don’t hold ourselves accountable for our role in the house of cards falling.
Until we hold ourselves accountable for our own healing journey, it will never take root and create sustainable growth.
What does that mean?
Well, it means that you need to be present and involved in your healing and your treatment plan. You need to ask questions, do the work, make the appointments, and keep them. You need to step up for YOU.
Many people can walk with you but there is not one person on the planet that can walk FOR you.