Sometimes speaking up about how you feel can be exceedingly hard to do. This is especially true when, deep down, you know the reaction to what you are going to say is going to be bad - no matter how lovingly, carefully or gently you say it.
So what to do?
Well, at the end of the day, it is my experience that if the person you are speaking to is as committed to having a healthy relationship with you as you are with them, it will work out.
If they aren't, well, it may not work out favorably and create a healthier understanding, but in the long run do you want to have a relationship with someone who isn't prepared to see, know or understand you?
Having grown out of crazy self-esteem and self-worth issues it can be really hard to say, "No" and even harder to put the brakes on being a people pleaser.
So what do you do when your attempts at speaking up end up with bad results?
You move on.
You walk away from people who cannot or will not reach a level of communication which isn't driven by agendas, power and control; people who refuse to budge in their way of thinking or believing and make you feel like less.
You learn where to place your boundaries from the very beginning.
It is a learning curve.
The one thing you don't do is continue on bound to people and relationships that leave you feeling like less.
Surround yourself with people who see you, believe in you and connect with you as equally human and valuable. You don't have to agree with someone to treat them with love, dignity and equality.
There is room in the world for all of us - no matter how different we are.
So if you have something weighing heavily on your heart, think about it, analyze it, work on it and then express it as kindly as you can - because holding on to it will hurt you more in the long run.
Have the courage to be lovingly, kindly but strongly and unapologetically you.