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Power, Control and Helping Others.


Whether you are an activist, survivor or simply discussing issues around trauma and abuse, you need to take a deep breath and ask yourself, "is this me or the other person?"


I think the strangest thing I have seen as a survivor, is survivors being ordered rather than advised, what they must and mustn't do; and even more, judged for choosing a path that works for them.


Get a protection order, go into shelter, lay a charge, fight in court, prevent someone else getting hurt, heal this way, not that way, feel like this, do that, go to church - not that church, take these meds, don't take any meds... the list is endless


We handle trauma differently and we are entitled to our journeys - the most importantant part of which, in my opinion, is reclaiming our power and freedom to choose what is right for us.


You may think the militant, in your face approach is right for you - you may even think it's right for others - but what is not your right, is forcing someone to do what you think is right, even if it will destroy the other person.


We are allowed to disagree. We are allowed to choose when and how we use our voices.


Educate - for sure give ideas and knowledge. Speak your truth - not ram your truth down other people's throats. Speak with compassion and empathy.


Empower - give options, seek answers. Not enslave, label and judge.


Elevate - let survivors find their own paths. Let them make their decisions and learn from their mistakes. Walk with them not for them, so that their victories can be their own.


As healers, guides, service providers, activists, we shed light on issues and encourage courageous conversation. The goal being to not become what broke us, but enabling others to rise above their circumstances, not forcibly dragging them to some preconceived idea of what right and true is for us.


Healing allows people to grow and find their own path. Allow them that - they have lost enough already.



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